Adakah dia/ anda seorang Alpha Male?

Apa tu alpha male?Alpha male is the guy every men wants to be or even a woman wants to be if she’s a guy. When he enters a room everyone looks at him. When he talks, everyone listens. Everyone wants to copy him but he never copies anyone. Alpha male ni dia ada charateristic yang lain dari lelaki lain. Dia natural leader, selalu jaga dan memberi kepada mereka disekitar dia - keluarga, buddies dia, teman wanita, kawan2 wanita dan kawan2 pejabat. Dia suka kemenangan dan agak bagus dari segi itu.Dia seorang yang laid back, akan bertindak bila perlu dan relax tentang penampilan dia. 

So, how can you tell you are not an alpha male?or you are not seeing an alpha male?

•  I've got this. You are on a date, the cheque comes,he’ll say ‘ I've got this’. Enuf said.
•  I’m sorry. He is man enough to man up to his mistakes and apologise.
•  Never gossips. An alpha male stays true to his pack. He doesn't pin point the mistakes of others, bad mouth people or bring them down.
•  Never blame others. He is responsible for his actions.
•  No sucking up or ass-kissing. He doesn’t look for others approval on things. He is the leader.
• Doesn't panic. Stays calm, makes swift calculated decision based on experience and circumstances.
• On time. Respects other people's time and effort to meet him. If he is late, he will call to inform.
• Always think before he acts. 
• Doesn't lie. The not alpha male lies to everyone -  friends, family, co-workers etc etc. An alpha male doesn't get himself into a mess he can't get out. 
• Doesn't betray. He doesn't back stab people just to get ahead in life or work.
• Doesn't bully. Only takes a fight when it is absolutely necessary or because of something dead serious, to prove a point- even if the opponent is stronger/bigger. And because of his driven nature, he could win it.

Ladies: Adakah si dia menipu?

Dia selalu balik lewat. Jarang telefon anda. Anda rasa ada sesuatu yang tak kena. Dia macam lain dari biasa. Adakah dia menipu anda? Selalunya firasat wanita adalah betul. Jadi dengar hati/perasan anda dan selidik jika ianya betul.

1. Tengok / perhatikan cara penggunaan telefon bimbit dia.
Adakah dia selalu matikan telefon bimbitnya bila bersama anda? Mungkin dia tidak mahu menjawab panggilan 'si dia' bila dia bersama kamu.Adakah dia semakin jarang menjawab panggilan kamu?Jika anda boleh check handphone dia, checklah untuk panggilan berulang yang tidak dikenali.Check bill telefonnya, check panggilan lama kepada nombor anda tidak kenal.

2.Perhatikan di mana dia berada bila dia tidak bersama anda. Adakah dia bercakap tentang seorang wanita yang lain lebih dari biasa?Adakah dia menghabiskan masa dengan orang lain (bukan kawan2 lelakinya) lebih dari anda? Jaga2. kadang2 kawan2 dia pun cover utk dia.

3.Check dia dimana dia kata dia berada. Dia kata dia kerja lewat? Dia kata dia akan pergi minum dengan kawan2 dia di Starbucks Bukit Bintang? Pergi buat suprise. Bawalah makanan favourite dia kalau dia dia kerja lewat malam, atau saja beritahu ianya suprise dan kebetulan anda berada berdekatan dengan kawasan dia berada.

4. Cipta profil palsu. Tengok jika dia termakan umpan anda. Dari situ anda boleh lihat wataknya dan jika dia setia kepada anda.

5.Lihat perubahan diri. Tiba-tiba dia kelihatan terlebih peka tentang penampilannya dari biasa. Dia cepat merungut atau menjadi defensif bila anda tanya dia ke mana, buat apa dsbgnya. Dia mungkin ubah persepsi agar anda kelihatan seperti seorang yang paranoid tentang keadaannya.

6. Gertak dia. Katakan sahaja anda tahu yang dia berjumpa orang lain. Kemungkinan besar dia akan kata tidak sampai ke penghujung. Tapi kalau anda pun pandai berlakon, mungkin anda dapat apa yang anda cari.

Ingat...

• Samada mengintip pasangan anda itu betul atau salah,ianya ialah sesuatu yang sukar. Kebanyakkan wanita ingin tahu kebenaran agar mereka dapat meneruskan hubungan atau tidak.
• Berjaga-jaga apabila anda beritahu bagaimana anda mendapat tahu tentang kelakuannya kerana dia boleh menggunakan alasan tersebut kepada anda dimasa akan datang.
• Jangan sekali tuduh dia tanpa bukti yang kukuh, ini kerana mereka hanya akan terus menipu dan menutup jejak mereka dengan lebih baik. Jika anda ada semua bukti yang kukuh dan pasti, pastikan anda mempunyai plan yang tidak melibatkan keganasan atau sesuatu yang tidak diingini.Jika anda tidak menemui sebarang keraguan selepas anda menyiasat, jangan terus paranoid. Lepas dan lupakan...kalau tak nanti boleh jadi psycho ok?

Apa nak jawab bila orang tanya kenapa anda single...

Bosankan? Especially bila pergi kenduri, dinner ada yang tanya soalan yang sama tiap2 kali...kenapa you tak kahwin lagi?

Ini antara idea apa nak jawab bila orang tanya:

1. I pun tak tahu. Kenapa ya you rasa?
Jawapan ni memang direct dan agak agresif. Tapi betul lah kan...sebab tak tahu. Ini boleh jawab kat orang yang sarcastic dan muka tak malu tanya orang kenapa tak kahwin lagi.

2. Sebab saya lebih suka jadi single dan happy dari ada pasangan tetapi sengsara. Awak tak macam tu?
Ini jawapan yang sangat neutral. Mungkin boleh buat orang yang bertanya terfikir.

3.Saya suka jadi single. Saya tentukan arah hidup saya, buat pilihan saya sendiri sementara tunggu Mr.Right saya tiba.
Jawapan diplomatik, direct tapi tak menyinggung perasaan.

4.I kan very important person/nerd/super hero. Siang kerja, malam pun kerja...mana ada masa nak dating?
Lawak bodoh  dan juga bagi hint yang anda tak minat nak cerita panjang pasal personal life anda.

5.You nak kahwin dengan I ke? Ok je/ Tak mo lah.
Soalan yang dijawab dengan soalan...sure orang yang tanya tu terkedu.LOL!

Happy 2013!

Happy New Year people!!!! Can't believe it dah 2013! Whatever it is, I hope that 2013 will be a wonderful and fruitful year ahead to everyone. Semoga yang mencari akan jumpa yg di cari dan dah mencari cepat2lah berkahwin! :)

My promise to you people is that insyaAllah I will try my very best to work harder to help you guys find/introduce you to as many available people as possible. I am hoping to be busy with single events etc by March onwards. I am looking forward to be getting wedding invitations again this year!

To all of you who have been searching year after year, do not lose hope or track of things. This could be afterall, your lucky year!

Love you guys! Happy 2013 again. Yeay!

WIN 2 TICKETS TO PROGRAM RAHSIA MENCARI PASANGAN 7th DRSEMBER DI KOLEJ UNIVERSITI ISLAM SELANGOR

As salam! We are giving away 2 tickets to PROGRAM RAHSIA MENCARI PASANGAN which is taking place at Kolej Universiti Islam Selangor this 7th December, Friday. All you have to do is write in to us contact@findmychemistry.com why you must win a ticket to go! Entries will be closed by tomorrow midnight and we will announce on Friday itself. Good luck!

Menangi tiket ke PROGRAM RAHSIA MENCARI PASANGAN yang dikendali oleh Dato' Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah & Ustaz Don pada Jumaat 7 Disember ini di KUIS Bangi. Untuk memenangi tiket tulis kepada kami mengapa anda layak mendapat tiket tersebut ke contact@findmychemistry.com! Semoga berjaya!

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SO ape lagi, tulis kepada contact@findmychemistry.com kenapa anda patut pergi ke seminar ini!

Are Women More Attracted to Men Who Court Them with Humor?

taken from Gil Greengross, Ph.D.

Imagine that you are a woman, sitting alone in a bar. A young attractive man at a table next to you is joking with his friends and making them laugh. After a few minutes his friends leave and he approaches you, asking for your telephone number so he can take you on a date at a later time. Would you be persuaded by him? And what if the guy had been laughing at his friends' jokes but not telling any himself?
This is exactly what 60 young women (ages 20-26) had to decide in a clever study conducted by Nicolas Guéguen. Guéguen is a French researcher who does great ecologically valid experiments on various topics. Most research done in the social sciences is conducted in laboratory settings where people have to fill out questionnaires about how they would act in different situations. This leads to some biases, and that is why testing real behaviors in real situations is important for understanding the true nature of people.

Guéguen wanted to test whether humor enhances mate desirability. There is mounting evidence that a sense of humor is a very desirabletrait when choosing a mate, and more so for women, but relatively few studies have looked at women's reactions to a man with a great sense of humor approaching them.So, did women find the humorous man more attractive? Yes, they did. In fact, women were three times more likely to give their phone number to the confederate who told the jokes, compared to the confederate who did not. The humorous men were also considered more attractive, intelligent, funny and sociable, although only the latter two were statistically significant differences.The effect of a great sense of humor on women's attractions might be partially explained by the fact that funny people are considered to be more social and more intelligent, things that women seek in a mate, but all other things being equal, funny men seem to attract more women.

What about the courtship behaviors of women? Can humor help women attract men? Generally, physical beauty would be the most important factor that would drive a man to initiate contact with a woman. However, not all is lost. Smiling is one of the most important signals that women can direct at men to show their interest. Studies in the past showed, for example, that the distance between a man and a woman in an elevator decreases if the woman enters the elevator smiling.

Guéguen did another study where an average-looking female confederate went into a bar and made eye contact with a guy sitting alone. In half of the cases she smiled towards him, and in the other half she didn't (the decision whether to smile or not was random). One hundred men participated in this study. When the woman smiled, the number of men who approached her was 5 times more compared to the men she didn't smile at (11 vs. 2 men). Even if the men did not approach the woman, the men who got a smile glanced at the woman for 7 seconds as opposed to only 2 seconds when she did not smile at them.

So it seems pretty clear that all a woman has to do to increase her attractiveness is to smile at a man, while men have to work hard trying to impress women with jokes.

Macam mana nak jumpa Mr.Right/ Miss Right?

Although not widely discussed or talked openly, marriage is a high priority in our Malaysian

 Muslim society. In fact it is one of the highest priority in being a Muslim since it is wajib and not fardhu.

I think many women reach a stalemate (jalan buntu) situation once they reach the age of 30. Searching a soul mate is not an easy quest, the wiser we become with age, the many questions arise, questioning security, stability, happiness, money and so forth. A lot of soul searching comes with it too, like 'Allah why haven't I found someone?', 'Why am I still not married?' Some blame others, like their parents, friends, work etc. However, at the end of the day, it comes back to you.

Ini mungkin antara faktor yang menahan anda dari mencari pasangan dan apa anda boleh buat untuk memberi diri anda peluang untuk berkenalan atau untuk jumpa pasangan anda.

1) Berhenti dari membiarkan hubungan lama anda untuk mempengaruhi hubungan baru.

Ramai orang suka buat comparison (berbezaan) tentang hubungan mereka yang lepas. Contohnya antara mereka yang berjumpa saya akan beritahu...."Maya, I tak nak yang below 40. My experience dengan lelaki yang below 30 ni, diorang tak mature,clingy, tak tahu apa yang diorang nak"....ada juga yang kata " Maya, please carikan I someone yang macam ex I" (a guy asked me this). I even asked the guy to get over the fact that his ex is married and that he will mostlikely never meet anyone like her and only and if only dia betul2 over that, he can come back to me and ask to be introduced to someone. Maybe just maybe, korang perasan tak yang you are stuck in a cycle? Keep falling for the same type of people?So, how to break it? Mungkin cuba berkenalan dengan orang yang opposite dari apa yang you want. Fikir balik, adakah anda asyik berjumpa orang jenis yang sama?Kesedaran/awareness is the key here.

2) Jangan settle for less.

Ramai orang, bukan di Malaysia saja, mat salleh pun sama...menerima hakikat yang anda takkan jumpa Mr.Right /Miss Right. Kita dah ada mind set yang di ajar dari generasi ke generasi yang kadang2 kita kena terima apa yang ada depan kita. Mungkin ianya ok sekarang, tetapi fikirkan 10 tahun dari sekarang bila anda lihat pasangan anda dan tidak merasa sebarang perasaan, kemarahan atau sesuatu kekosongan. Cuma ingat, jangan berfikiran negatif, selalu fikirkan yang anda akan berjumpa sebab bila anda merasakan anda tidak akan langsung berjumpa Mr.Right/Miss Right anda atau peluang sangat tipis, anda sebenarnya menutup peluang anda sendiri dari berjumpa dan akan menanam perasaan anda tidak akan berjumpa dengan dia. Dan, kadang2 Mr.Right/Miss Right kita tak semestinya perfect macam kita nak, jadi berilah mereka peluang.

3)Anda selalu complain tentang lelaki (kalau perempuan), dan perempuan (kalau anda lelaki).

Ini pulak habit dari kecil yang terbawa-bawa hingga ke dewasa. Mungkin anda ada kawan2 yang juga kaki complain tentang lelaki/perempuan...jadi bila bercerita seronok sahaja sebab kawan2 sependapat. But be careful what you wish for! Lagi selalu kita kata secara tidak sedar anda program subconscious mind anda untuk percaya apa yang anda kata. Jika anda boleh fikirkan seorang lelaki/perempuan yang tidak ada apa2 kriteria yang anda complain, insyaAllah anda mungkin boleh jumpa Mr.Right/Miss Right anda.

4.Anda fikir soulmate cuma dalam movie...atau rasa soulmate anda tak exist.

Ini berkait dengan cerita tadi. Bila anda fikir si dia tak ada dalam dunia ni...anda dah tutup semua possibility. Bila jumpa orang baru pun nanti subconscious anda akan kata..tapi dia ni tak ada apa yang i nak...walaupun anda sebenarnya sukakan orang tu tapi sebab anda selalu rasa/katakan tak ada, anda rasa dia bukan yang anda mahukan. Dah melepas:( Ingat, believe yang Mr.Right/Miss Right exist, then will only he or she walk through your door.