Desperation comes from something that you have no control or
knowledge over.I guess it's something like this: You meet a guy you like…you go out with him.
Had a nice time and he says that he will call you but he never does. Then you start over analysing and come out
with the most preposterous reasons in the world why he didn't call. So, in the
attempt to get his attention (assuming you have his email/number etc)you then
buy him gifts, send him cards, send emails every 1 hour to ask how things are
going. You think this will surely show him that you care and like him. He, in
the other hand, feels you are smothering him, suffocating him and mommy-ing him
– which he obvious doesn't want.
What you can do: Balance your life. DO NOT become too focus
or obsess over one guy who does not call after going out with you or text to say ‘thank
you, I had a good time’ or ‘it was nice having dinner with you. Hope you
arrived safely’. Instead, take control of your life because that is the only
thing you can control. Value other
things in life - like your family, friends,
work, hobbies and so forth. If you can show a man that you a confident woman,
who cares about all aspects of her life, a good conversationalist and is laid
back with men, they may spark some interest towards you. Plus why would we want to waste time with men who we want a romantic relationship with, who doesn't even know how to say thank you?
(Perasan tak why certain men are attracted to married women?
Ini universal truth…married women are more calm and are not desperate and of
course other reasons for the men, kalau apa2 diorang tak payah nak commit. Basically,
diorang nak fool around je.)
How to know you are the desperate type
I know what is desperate and I know when a woman is desperate. I talk to these women most of the time.
How do I know they (you) are desperate?
You think too much ahead. You just met the guy and you are
already planning 6 months ahead of your relationship or even your wedding.”Maya
tak apa, I tak bertunang pun tak apa. Simple wedding pun ok, senang for both
sides. Yang penting I dapat kahwin”. Inilah antara jawapan yang saya dapat. Not that I am against it, but I am sure any parents, you yourself or even your future partner want a decent wedding. And yang penting bukanlah hanya "I dapat kahwin". The wedding that you would want is the one that you can share with friends and family, not just a get by wedding because you don't want to burden the guy. (Don't you think that your man should at least give you a wedding to remember of as a sign of his appreciation, love and wanting to spend his life with you?*we are not talking about Will's and Kate's wedding here ok?Even a man who enters an arranged marriage should give the woman he marries a decent wedding. Ni just my 2 cents).
Men sense desperation miles away and they are terrified of
it. Men don’t think the same as women. Their needs are not the same as women.
You need to re-think their needs from a man’s emotional standpoint.
Men don’t want to feel that they are responsible for your
happiness. Take steps to keep yourself in better control of your life so that you are less panicky thinking about your future.
What are the things that a man notice when women are
desperate?
You try to impress too much. You laugh at their jokes even when
it’s not funny; you want to do everything for them, talk too much or you agree
to pretty much everything they think of.
When you talk to a man, stay calm. There is no need to talk
too much just because there is a silent moment in your conversation. Silent
moments do happen, when it does, relax and simply move on…and jangan cerita
pasal your last relationship because you don't know what to say.Jangan cerita. Zip it. That chapter is over and no
man wants to hear about some lame guy from your past (we’ll talk about that
some other time).
Try to focus on other areas of your life, have the lifestyle
that you really want. Become an interesting person that other people want to
know about. By doing this, you put yourself in control of your own happiness –
and InsyaAllah men will naturally want to know more about you.
